Mindfulness #5: Creating a Team When You’re Depressed

Our Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction class has come to an end. There were tears and hugs when we said goodbye.

Nine weeks ago we looked at each other with minds that were wary, scared, curious, self-conscious. Today we are Sangha for each other, and we will miss each other. And we will miss our teacher. Today many of us are scared to be without each other. I’m scared.

I wonder whether I’ll keep up my meditation practice, or whether it will wither on the vine. I wonder whether I’ll grow to loathe it – that thing I’m not doing for myself that I know I should do. I wonder whether I’ll keep the progress I’ve made or slide back. I wonder whether I’ll keep progressing.

I wonder whether “it’s worked,” whether I’ve avoided another major episode of depression. And I know the answer isn’t written. Doesn’t exist. I wonder whether I’ll wither again.

“Find yourself a Sangha,” our teacher told us. Find yourself a group to practice with. You need a group. You need a team.

Find yourself a Sangha.

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2 comments

  1. Hey! It’s Mike from your class. There is no need to be scared. Remember what this class is about. What mindfulness is about. It’s about being in the moment and experiencing life as it is without pre-judgements. Who knows what will happen with your practice? And who cares? You don’t need to practice formally to experience mindfulness anyways. You might wither back into a depression and you might not. If for some reason you do, you’ll be more equipped to deal with it. More ready to handle it and be at peace with those emotions as they come over you. This isn’t about PREVENTING those feelings/emotions, it’s about accepting them and watching and observing them as they come over you, not fighting them or being ashamed of them. When I heard you speak in class multiple times openly about depression the ONLY thing I saw was strength. You’ve been through a lot and you’ve only become stronger for it. You’re an amazing individual. I’m looking forward to keeping up with your posts here. Our group may be done meeting, but like Dr. Croniak said, class is never over.

    1. I’m humbled by your comment Mike. Thank you SO much for your encouragement. I truly appreciate it! You’re right. Class is never over and I will be stronger next time around. I already am. So are you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

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